在《纽约时报》看到美国的婚姻专家开列出的婚前必问的15个问题，我觉得相当好，技术性地排除了百分之九十以上的婚姻痛苦。
1、我们要不要孩子？如果要，主要由谁负责？
2、我们的赚钱能力及目标是什么？消费观及储蓄观会不会发生冲突？
3、我们的家庭如何维持？由谁来掌握可能出现的风险？
4、我们有没有详尽地交换过双方的疾病史？包括精神上的。
5、我们父母的态度有没有达到我们的预期？会不会给足够的祝福？如果没有，我们如
何面对？
6、我们有没有自然、坦诚地说出自己的性需求、性的偏好及恐惧？
7、卧室能放电视机吗？
8、我们真的能倾听对方诉说，并公平对待对方的想法和抱怨吗？
9、我们清晰地了解对方的精神需求及信仰吗？我们讨论过孩子将来的教育模式和信仰
问题吗？
10、我们喜欢并尊重对方的朋友吗？
11、我们能不能看重并尊敬对方的父母？我们有没考虑到父母可能会干涉我们的关系？
12、我的家族最让你心烦的事情是什么？
13、我们永远不会因为婚姻放弃的东西是什么？
14、如果我们中的一人需要离开其家族所在地陪同另一人到外地工作，做得到吗？
15、我们是不是充满信心面对任何挑战使婚姻一直往前走？
I was reading this article on New York Times about 15 questions every couple need to check before they decide to marry. I am pretty convinsed that the question list could technically eliminate at least 90% of the torture of a marriage.
1 Do we want a child (children)? If yes, who's going to take care of them?
2 What are our earning capabilitis and financial target? Will there be any conflict between us about our consuming and saving judgements?
3 How do we keep our household? Who is able to handle possible risks?
4 Do we know each other's detailed medical history? Including those mental ones?
5 Do the attitudes of both of our parents reach our expectation? Will they give us their bless? How do we face it if they refuse?
6 Have we frankly speak out our sexual desire, preference and phobia?
7 Are we going to put a TV in the bedroom?
8 Can we really listen to each other's talk and judge the other person's thought and complaint with fairness?
9 Do we clearly understand each other's mental needs and religious believes? Have we discussed about our children's future mode of education and religion?
10 Do we like and respect each other's friends?
11 Do we value and respect each other's parents? Have we considered that parents might interfere our relationship?
12 What is the most annoying thing of my family for you?
13 What are the things that we are never going to give up for our marriage?
14 Can one of us accompany the other to another place without his or her family for work?
15 Are we confident enough to break any barriers and challenges to keep the marriage stay on track？
泥瓜：突然想到最近读的社会学课本里面说的，我们常认为离婚率的提高说明了现代婚姻和家庭的失败，但也许我们可以换个方式思考这个问题--离婚率的提高是不是也代表了现代人对更好的婚姻和家庭的追求？有的时候真的只是不合适，多尝试，合适的机会就会大大提高，而且现代人追求理想伴侣的勇气也是种进步吧。过去离婚率低，但不代表幸福的婚姻就多，而且很多情况下，女人都是处在弱势地位的。
不过，话是这么说，我还是希望将来不要离婚的。。。还有老爸老妈你们看了的话也不要多想了，就算不合适，也还是把它人工整合适了吧，其实你们的某些不合适对我是非常有好处的，至少我学会了从各种不同的角度看问题。。。另外，尝试这种冒险的累活还是留给年轻人做吧。。。。。。